Scarlet Magazine

By Andrew J. Baran

K’s Scarlet Blog: It Continues!

Posted on | April 25, 2011 | No Comments

Continuing on from last time…

Currently, the things buzzing around the centre altar are: working again with AJB, my website and ways to improve it, the burlesque shows I’ve been doing with the Hot Tail Honeys, video
games, a new photo project where I play an ex-IRA assassin, and “Despicable Me”.

Andrew J. Baran is a most talented fellow, and I always (eventually) love working with him. We come up with pretty fantastic ideas when we hang around together. I’m all keyed up about doing more projects with him, including this blog. Woot for the blog…!

My website (or one of several) features photos and a kind of RPG interaction that concentrates on Pinups of an Apocalyptic (or Post-Apocalyptic) variety. There will be photo-books, prints, pins, mugs, fake movie posters, cookbooks, and more! I am hoping that eventually I can reach enough fans that I can have a reason to have a table at comic-cons. Yay for comic-con!! ^_^

The Hot Tail Honeys

So lemme get right to the point...

I have been doing live shows with Pope Katherine I and one of her former Hot Tail Honeys, the delicious Dolce Vita. We performed on December 11th at the Slowdown for the Omaha Rollergirls Black and Blue Ball, as well as at Gator O’Malley’s for Rockabilly Night (which may become a monthly thing!) and at Ravenite for Bollywood Night.

I shall describe December’s show, for it fills me with inspiration, and I’m sure you’ll all love to imagine it! We opened with a group chair dance number set to the incomparable Peggy Lee’s “Hey, Big Spender”, and followed with a solo number each. (Note: I know I’m more detailed in the descriptions of my own dances, but I’m not being egotistical; I never got to see the entirety of anyone else’s act because I was racing around trying to put on my next costume! Ah, the heartpounding, terrifying joys of doing a live show…)

Jerry Junglejuice

You cannot resist the sparkly blazer of Jerry Junglejuice!

Pope's fan dance

Pope's fan dance

Dolce Vita

Love Me Dead

Kathryn Q. Cheshire

The boys at the USO will love this!

Pope started off the solos with a rendition of her classic fan dance, surprising those who knew the dance from years ago with a dramatic change in music (going from Muse’s cover of “Feelin’ Good” to Richard Cheese’s jazzy version of “Down With the Sickness”). Dulce was next in a gorgeous gown fit for the Corpse Bride, stripping to Ludo’s “Love Me Dead”. And number three was little ole me, introduced by Jerry Junglejuice as K.Q. Cheshire (my full name is Kathryn Q. Cheshire, since there are already too many Kittys and Kittens and Kats in the burley world…when I perform with the HTH, I shorten my first name to K.Q., out of respect for Her Holiness). I borrowed the music and the adorable (what I call) malt-shop-Christmas outfit from another classic Hot Tail Honeys dance; my deceptively real-looking giant lollipops gleamed in the spotlights, and my Sailor Moon dumpling pigtails bounced to Christina
Aguillera’s “Candyman” and I sugared and spun and Charlestoned like I was performing at the USO for the boys abroad. I won’t give away the hilariously cute ending; that should encourage you to come see me perform some time!


Prof. Luke

The amazing juggling of Prof. Luke!

Professor Luke was our male buffer between Acts I and II. He performed juggling feats until our MC blew the whistle (literally) and called a foul…“What does juggling have to do with the Rollergirls?! If you’re not a girl, and you’re not stripping, you’re off the stage!”…Luke remedied the situation by juggling rollerskate wheels. Act II contained: a Pope covered in balloons (that she still managed to pop after losing her hair-piece/poppin’ pin) to Carmen Miranda’s “Don’t Touch Me Tomatoes”; the darling Dolce dipping and shimmying off her slinky sparkly gown to the sultry sounds of Michael Buble singing “Fever”; and Miss Cheshire telling a tale through dance about a wolfie in little girl’s clothing, going from a mysterious red cloak and cowl, to an innocent white dress with a green’n’gold cincher, to a red-hot feathery bikini, and in the end, sliding into a wolf-like fur coat and prowling on the floor as the Black Squirrels’ “Mr. Big Bad Wolf” came to a howling finish.


Rev spins it up

“Boylesquer” number two was the most holy Reverend, tuning up his orchestra, but then—prompted by stern glares from Junglejuice—giving the ladies in the audience what they wanted and taking it all off! Well, enough to flush a few cheeks and raise a few heart-rates. He gave a glorious, light-filled staff-spinning performance (no, not THAT staff!) with glow-sticks and LEDs blazing (the venue was not suitable for firestaff, unfortunately), set to a spine-chilling metal/techno version of Bach’s Toccata and Fugue. I get all shivery just thinking about it! In the final Act, Dulce donned her Donna Reed attire, trussing up a tasty cherry’n’whipped cream pie right onstage (which eventually ended up right on HER instead).

Kathryn Q. Cheshire


Up next, to the music of “Baby Did a Bad, Bad Thing”, was Kathryn Q. Cheshire again (yes, I’ve gone full-on 3rd person here), presenting the best of her vaudevillian strip-humour yet, starting off in manacles, a baggy black-and-white prison stripes jumpsuit, a strangely lumpy belly, and dragging “iron” balls and chains; suddenly, she turns around, pulls out a policeman’s cap and baton, wriggles out of the top half of the jumpsuit—exposing a modern blue cop top—and spins back to the audience, revealing a Charlie-Chaplin-like moustache. With silent-movie-slapstick physicality, she makes her “escape”, only to peel off her P.D. Blue to uncover an even more modern bright orange brassiere, stamped with a prisoner number and bespangled with a few rhinestones. The Cheshire Kat retrieves her balls’n’chains to perform a little “prison poi” (again, no fire allowed, so sad!), then finally, the meeting of two prison eras are removed, and the audience feasts its eyes on the extremely skimpy final layer (if you can call it a “layer”): a black-and-white prison striped thong with strings of silver beads skimming her behind, and a black sequined “ball” pasty with a silver chain tassel adorning each breast. She spun those tassels ‘round and ‘round as she side-stepped off the stage. The final number began with a military-themed Pope stepping gracefully but sinisterly out from behind the curtain, then, in an homage to Lady Gaga, moved into an intense writhing dance set to “Alejandro”. In her final layer of sheer white and “blood” smears, Pope was joined by the entire ensemble and we finished off the show with a bang.

To Shana (our darling stage maid!) Professor Luke, Kelcivious Jones (a.k.a. Jerry Junglejuice), Reverend Steve, Dolce, and Katherine…I love you all and I hunger to do another show with you all soon…  😉


Leave a Reply

Powered by eShop v.6