Scarlet Magazine

By Andrew J. Baran

Teapots and Teaspoons

Posted on | December 21, 2009 | No Comments

I like teapots: red, yellow, big, small, ornate, delicate, all kinds. Why? Unlike my coffee-drinking friends, I prefer tea and all the fun sayings associated with it like tea time, afternoon tea, tea and crumpets and of course the teapot song. I’m sure you’ve heard it: “I’m a little teapot short and stout, here is my handle, here is my spout. When I get all steamed up then I shout. Just tip me over and pour me out.”

I used to sing this song as a kid complete with choreography. Now as an adult I’ll occasionally hum the little ditty while pouring myself a cup. Lately I’ve been revisiting the lyrics. Is it really about tea and pots? I mean, I could really be a teapot…I’m short (not really stout) and little. I do get steamed up. I do shout when I get that way. And most of the time I want assistance in getting cooled off. And it makes me wonder what the song writer was really thinking when they made this jingle?

Walking around the kitchen I ask myself how the teapot got so lucky to have its own song. What about the coffee maker? The coffee grinder? Do they have songs? What about the smoothie maker? That gadget does some amazing things! Or the toaster oven? You can get hot buns from that appliance! But my mind goes back to tea: tea pots, tea cups, tea bags and teaspoons.

Teaspoons! I think there needs to be a jingle about that utensil. Why? Because I love spooning. As humans we crave closeness, we crave touch. And we need touch from another to survive. In fact, I believe most men and women would choose multiple nights of spooning over one night of steam…if they had to choose.

I believe the spoon is worthy of its own song. No matter its size, be it teaspoon, tablespoon, dinner spoon or serving spoon, it’s too important of a utensil not to have one. And so I made a jingle especially for it: “I’m a little teaspoon, small and petite. I like resting next to another to feel its heat.”

I think I’ll sing this while stirring my tea as a reminder that sometimes sex isn’t everything. And since we use spoons for a variety of purposes feel free to sing this little ditty when the mood strikes you- while baking a cake, whipping up a savory dish, eating dinner…or yes, even while spooning!



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