Scarlet Magazine

By Andrew J. Baran

Wing Man

Posted on | December 1, 2009 | No Comments

I have a friend who plays the sax. He was scheduled to play Friday night at a local bar. I told him I’d show up no matter what. Two hours before I left the house my wing man, or wing wo-man canceled on me. What’s a girl to do? My answer: Go anyway. Yes, go all by yourself.

Dressed in skinny blue jeans, knee-high black boots and a loose gray top I thought I exhibited a sense of ‘approachable fashion’. Boy was I wrong! Let’s see…I got ‘the looks’ that’s for sure. Stared at? Check. Boob bumped on the dance floor? You bet. And there was a single occurrence of a conversation that went something like this..
Him: “You double-fisting?”
Me: “One is water.” (smile, nod and ‘cheers’ gesture enacted)
Him: “Oh, I thought maybe so.”
Me: “Yeah, the bar line was so long…who wants to stand in that for an hour?” (Smile)
He smiled and walked off. What the *#@%!

Before I left I told my defunct wing wo-man this would be the ultimate experiment. Going solo means no one is there to deflect traffic if a guy wants to approach you. But alas, even the singular approach yielded ‘the usual’ result…nada. Are guys just chicken shit? I mean, the sexiest woman in the bar can’t even get a ‘hello’! (Hey, I looked around, that statement was accurate.)

Friends say I need to ‘tone it down’. No matter how much I try I’ve learned that, like peanut butter and jelly, my essence is a complimentary mix of femininity and power. That’s just who I am. Yes, I’ve come to the conclusion I’d rather be single than…settle. I’d rather be single than…redefine who I am for a man.

I’ve been told guys like a woman who knows what she wants…who isn’t submissive, but seductive, sensual, sexy and a shade aggressive. Men, is that true? If so, where are you? Maybe you only come out on the night of a full moon.

~J

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