Scarlet Magazine

By Andrew J. Baran

The Variety Show

Posted on | November 7, 2009 | No Comments

Men want variety. That’s the bottom line.

For men, variety comes in different packaging. They want big boobs and they want small boobs too. They want round butts and perky butts too. They want blonde. They want brunette. They want Caucasian. They want Asian. They just want it all. If their sex life was a box of chocolates, they’d take the assortment package…because each one tastes different.

Women agree variety is the spice of life. We want variety too. At least this woman does. And that’s the bottom line.

For women, variety comes in different environments. To illustrate, here’s a “Weekly Sex Recipe” sampling:

  • Monday: Sensual massages via candlelight. We both receive happy endings. (A great way to get back into the work week.)
  • Tuesday: Text sex over lunch. Note: Park your car in a secluded area  so you can scream and moan up to deafening octaves.
  • Wednesday: Lunch sex on ‘hump day’ to celebrate the coming weekend.
  • Thursday: Morning workout sex. This can be done many ways, 1. At the gym in the bathroom, 2. Post-gym when we’re still hot and sweaty, 3. In the shower washing off the sweat if you don’t like other people’s sweat (OPS).
  • Friday: Commando dinner date. You finger me under the table during the dessert course. We create our ‘final course’ in the parking lot…steaming up the car windows.
  • Saturday: Dress up as a leather temptress then go out and do an ‘every day activity’. Use the night to seduce  you, ending with a random location.
  • Sunday: Breakfast in bed. I eat the pancakes. You eat me. We both use maple syrup.

Yes, if my sex life was a box of chocolates, all it’d contain is a map. A map to each milk chocolate caramel square that’s  strategically placed in provocative locations…the same kind of gooey goodness yet devoured in different settings.

~J

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